I'm trying to be somebody

I came home to find her crying... And to be honest, I was expecting it...
I came home a week ago from belad el ghorba, where I spent a whole month with her... A whole month of doing everything I can to make her happy, healthy, and satisfied... Hoping that when I come back home, I'd have my own life back and do whatever I please... And I would consider that a reward for all what I've been through... I am not saying that I was tortured, but I was under alot of pressure for the past 2 months... And I expected some acceptance of the fact that I need to be alone and get my life back... But there's no hope...

She was upset cause I went out monday and tuesday... I spent the whole 2 day out with my friends after I finished work... and another 2 days of the week I have a class right after work so I go home late. And she stays at home bored and needs me to either stay at home or take her out... I dont mind doing those things, but I wanted to do what "I" wanted for a sometime... I've always done what makes others happy and seriously need to do this tiny little thing for myself...

Is it my fault that I am obedient and love making people happy? Is she being abusive? Is she being obssessive? I thought all mothers were like that, but it turns out its only her making my life more complicated... and here she is crying and upset that I'm trying to be somebody and have a life of my own...

Is it all my mistake or hers? I have no idea...

I want to leave the country... I want to find myself... what I like and dislike... I want to be someone I want to be... I want to give myself some attention and confidence instead of always giving it to others... I want to please myself and look after myself... I want to simply do something I enjoy doing without being blamed for enjoying it... I want to feel free to be wherever and do whatever...