Ms. Crying Shoulder!

I dont know whats with me that makes people confide in me...

I suddenly find them talking about their most intimate things and their long kept secrets when they just knew me for a little while...

Ive always been like that... Having so many people that are not even my close friends considering me their close friends and telling me all about their problems, love, relationships (in all its types), anything and everything... I always thought of myself as the biggest ear and the widest crying shoulder.. Hehehehe (although I'm so short)...

Anyway, so its normal for me to hear from a friend that she is pregnant although she's not married (which is a BIG taboo in my culture) and that she is having an abortion... And it is also natural to hear a married friend tell me the details of the intercourse she just had last night... I've heard many weird things and I had the advantage/trouble of hearing and not saying anything back... Just listen and know and sometimes give advice... But yesterday, I heard this complaint/problem from a person I wasnt expecting that she would ever talk to me about such things...

She simply told me that she is not comfortable with her husband... That he is always sad, depressed, he never talks to her unless she initiates the conversation, he never takes her out, his talks are all about problems, and he is always either reading or watching TV... However, with all this frustration he is in and causing her, he tends to approach her physically, but she just refrains... She simply said that she doesnt want him anymore... "How could I do it when I dont want him to even touch me? How can I do it when he is always causing me depression?"... And she started crying... I didnt know what to say... So I asked her when was the last time they did it, and I was shocked to know that it was a YEAR ago...

I couldnt utter a word... She was crying and I saw it in her eyes that she felt guilty telling me about such problems... She has always been telling me about everything but this... She talks to me and only me because she is not friends with her mother and she doesnt have a sister or a best friend... So it was me she told and I was out of words and out of advice for a long while...

I realised that I wasnt anymore the child I used to be... I was an adult and asked for advice about things Ive never tried or experienced before... But suddenly I was like "a year is ALOT... Maybe thats why he is always quite and depressed"... And I asked her to do it, and maybe this will make the relationship better... And for a lil while I feared that he would go for someone else that would give him what he needs... and thats why I asked her to do it... Although I know how a woman would feel when she is doing it when she doesnt feel like she wants to, or when she doesnt tolerate the guy touching her...

I wasnt sure whether I was giving her the right advice, or was I torturing her even more.... Should a wife reject her husband when she doesnt want him? should she do it just for him? should she accept being just a machine? should she confide to someone about her problem? I believe she should talk to him about it directly and try to find a solution together... But are Egyptian men willing to talk and find solutions? especially when it comes to this sensitive issue? Is marriage that hard and are relationships that bad especially after long years of being together?