Now what?!?!?!?!

And now what?
I achieved everything I was aiming for... Finally!
But then what? I've always lived knowing that I am about to achieve something... But now, I'm out of something to achieve... And I simply cant take it anymore...

I can’t just live like that. I cannot continue ending each day without knowing that after a little while I will be achieving on my dreams, my aims in this world…
I’ve simply finished everything… My high school, bachelors degree, my masters degree, I have a job and I got promoted…. What else would I need to achieve? I have no clue and I really need something to work on… waking up everyday and sleeping without having something to worry about or look forward to is not something I really enjoy… I used to think while I was studying, I am so excited that I’m going to end this and have a free mind for good… But now that I’m free, I am not happy about it… I have no idea why… Maybe cause I’m an extra active person… don’t like lying there doing nothing… and when I have nothing to do, I start wanting for things and searching for things that I shouldn’t want or Hate to want… So I should find myself something FAST before I die of the boredom I’m living in…

They are all telling me to start my PhD… But I don’t want to… I can’t study in this country… I simply can’t… I want to study abroad and my parents are totally against that… So I have to figure out a way to convince them, or else find another achievement to go for…

Is it that hard to figure out something to do? I am out of dreams, aims and hopes for the future… I feel so old to even want something… I never felt that way but these days, when I realized that in 3 months, I will be 25 years old… 25 is a big number… I am so scared of it and don’t want it to come already… I feel like I’m too young to be 25… Twenty Five!!! Oh My God L I don’t want to be 25 years old… at this age, mum had a kid and was pregnant… she had a home of her own… she had a life… and look at me… I have nothing… just a piece of typed paper saying that I’ve been studying for 2 and half years to achieve a degree… Sigh… should I consider all that an achievement… I am starting to get tired of hearing people wishing me to get married… Everyone is worried that I didn’t get married yet… Everyone is trying to remind me of how old I’ve become and how hopeless it is for me to get married… Everyone is so worried and were successful in making me worried as well… I wasn’t worried… I always saw myself young, but all I hear is “3o2bal el 3arees”… especially that my cousins are all married and it’s my turn… I wasn’t worried I swear till everyone started stressing the fact that I have to get married… As if it’s me who fetches a guy and proposes…

For the first time in my entire life I find myself Empty... and this emptiness is killing me... Its not that I have plenty of free time... Its just that my time ends meaninglessly...