I am not even willing to write...
I have alot on my mind and in my heart to worry about that i dont have the courage to write...
It seems like Im getting used to hiding my emotions and my worries deep inside and showing instead some numb face with no expression... An annoying look, with eyes wide open, staring at nothing...
I am tired of people throwing themselves in my arms without even trying to know whether Im in a good enough mood to listen and care.... I am always the crying shoulder of the whole world... Even my parents seem to enjoy my being their cryin shoulder, but they were never mine... They ask for care and attention that they were never good at giving... same for my friends, who never ever think of listening or calling to c how things are going in my life... Im just an ear that is there to listen whenever they feel like they need someone to listen...
The thing is, i want to cry... I want to be hugged so tight... I want to be cared for, listened to.... I want some smoothness in my life... Some warmth and affection... SOMETHING cheerful.. just one lil thing that would cheer me up...
I am full of rage, pain, worries and pressure... I am tired of them and of me...