The secret of my Happiness

I felt the happiness...
I was HAPPY... All I could think of was Happiness... I was over the moon... Wanted to scream, sing, dance, fly, do all the crazy things in the world... I was sooooooooooooo HAPPY... Although my mother spent the whole day complaining about a million things, my dad was making the whole family misterable, my car died on my way home, and above all, I was PMSing... But I still felt happiness... Whatever I say, I will not be able to describe the happiness I felt... And all that for what?

I saw him that day, and spent half an hour with him, eating and laughing out loud about our usual issues... And all he said and repeated a million times is "you're sexy, you're amazing, you look great after you lost weight, I'm proud of you" :))))) I was over the moon... I saw it in his eyes; admiration, desire, pride, happiness... He simply commented on everything; my clothes, my ring, my anklet, my face, my lips, my sandals, the way I looked at him, my skin color...
And later on the phone he was like "I will have to marry you before this year ends" :))))))) HOW ON EARTH SHOULD I TAKE THAT STATEMENT?????!!!!!! I was basically out of this whole galaxy of happiness :) Then, the next day he was like "We will have 2 kids"... Here, I started getting scared... I felt like what he's saying is for real...

Does he really want me? Is it True that he wants me? Or is it just an illusion I'm living in? Is it another trick that I'm falling into? Or is it true and I heard it well???

I won't deny the fact that I love him more than anyone in the whole world... And all I wanted was to be with him forever, but I also remember him giving up on me... I remember him proposing to someone else 2 months after we faught... I remember him telling me a month ago that he ONLY loves me as a FRIEND... What is going on in his head? and what is with mine? I just forget and forgive so easily... The moment I heard the "marriage" and "kids" phrases, I was sooooooo happy that I couldnt sleep for a whole night :) Thinking about him and how much I adore everything about him...

Then I started getting scared... Scared that he'd leave me again... Scared that this would all be just my imagination... Scared that he wont be mine... Scared that it would turn out to be a joke, and I'd find myself Only his friend again... Scared that I would do something stupid that would make him go away again... I'm terrified and need alot of assurances from him... I wish he'd just say it clearly... I wish he would say all the magic words Ive been dying to hear him say...

At least I got to be Happy, when everything around me was making me Depressed..