Dont have a title for that

She finally got cured... The nightmare is over... it was a year full of everything bad in the world... Financial problems, then my break-up, then his proposing to someone else, then my aunt's sickness, then my mum's sickness.... It was a tough year... More than a year... It all started on the 19th of July 2005 and today is the 18th of May 2007...

Isnt that too much to handle? Or am I the weak and sensitive kinda girl? I dont know... But Ive always felt like I want to cry... I am someone who cries easily, but this time, I want to cry in a different way... I want to cry to feel better... to let out all whats deep inside... I want to say that I am heartbroken for so long now and I cant get out of it... I want to say that I am tired of the burden over my shoulder that this family is causing me.. I want to say that I was so scared that I'd lose my mother... She was dying infront of my eyes and I didnt recognise it till she went into the operations room... She was in pain, crying 24/7, thinking that she was dying, wanting so much to end her misery... I was in DEEP shit those past 10 months... Doing nothing but trying so damn hard to cheer her up, make her laugh, take care of her... I spent sleepless nights and endless mornings trying to make her forget what she was going through... The month I spent in london with 2 cancer patients was TOUGH... The hospital days were so damn tough... The night when I saw her intestines coming out of her body was the worst ever... The day when I heard she had cancer was more than death to me... The day when R told me that he forgot about me cause he proposed to her, and the way I cried while at work was more than I could have ever tolerated...

I dont know if I'm spoiled or being all sensitive and touchy, but this is truely how I feel... I feel broken, alone, weak, pressurised, depressed, desperate, in pain and in need of therapy...

I need to get out of here... Fast... before I lose my mind... I dont want to be the eldest.. I dont want to be responsible... I dont want to start hating myself again... I dont want to be in pain or face problems... I just want to get out of here....