grandma and aunty

Had a chat with my grandma this afternoon about love and marriage...

She was divorced twice and is about to experience her third divorce... And what surprised me is that she kept giving me advice about both when she was a failure in both for all her life now...

She told me that the love we see in movies and books does not exist and that using the mind is always better than using the heart... She also informed me that when 2 people in love get married, they usually end up seperated because they both expect things from their partner, which is quite dreamy and non-existent and they end up not happy about being together...

The lecture she gave me kept clinging in my head till my aunt came tonite and started telling us about her experience too... She was divorced three times but got back to her last husband... She told me that what was wrong about her first marriage is that she was so young and naiive and didnt make the right choice... She also told me that she would always let go of things, applogise, and make up with him although it was always him being wrong and dramatic... But she did so because she hated drama and trouble and wanted her life to go on smoothly... But she couldnt take it anymore and realised the problem of not setting limits to her husband from the beginning...

The both made me think about myself and my experience in this world... I am a hopeless romantic, falling in love with someone without thinking.. I am totally blind and was trying so hard to make it work out... Also, I think of love and marriage in a very dreamy non-existent way... something that is not realistic whatsoever... thats why I will probably end up making the wrong choice...

Their words came in the right time... The time when I decided to let go of my almost 3 years old love and start over.... Love is something belonging to teenagers, to dreamers, but not to people like me wishing for a family, kids and a peaceful easy life... I shouldnt be thinking that way anymore... What will love do me??? All I got was a heartache... More and more pain that is never over... I kept waiting for so long and nothing is happening... So id better start using my mind before I end up divorced and alone...