Welcome to "the" life
Numb; The best word for what I am now...
Filled with this feeling of nothingness, emptiness, loneliness, and age maybe... Although I'm only 25, but I feel so old... I also dont recognise myself anymore... I'm meeting a new me...
I've only been into the real world for 3 years, but I feel like I've been there for my entire life... I believe I was a good kid, spoiled by my grandparents and overly protected and properly raised by my parents, but I turned into the responsible eldest... And although I'm tired of this role and this position, I am glad for everything I experienced the past years... Especially those past 3 years... I was turned from a naiive, child into a grown-up... Now I can speak in public, I can revolt, I can bargain, I can ask for my rights, I can say No, I can make choices and I can make my own decisions... I can lead a life and that of others with me... Only 3 years taught me what I couldnt learn in 22 years of my life... Just getting out of the school and college gates and entering into the real world ruined the little girl in me... Everyday I am caught with any little experience that urges me to grow up and let go of the little girl in me...
I've seen life so cheerfully... I loved everyone I met, believing that they will definitely love me back... I said everything I felt like saying, not keeping any secrets or thinking before talking... I trusted all and worried about nothing... To realise that all that I am doesnt fit into this world... And I started changing subconsciously and gradually...
However, I really miss the old days, when I wasnt that scared of people... When I had no worries and no problems... When I had no responsibilities and no pain... When I dreamed believing that my dreams will come true...
But those days are over... Welcome to the new me and the new life... The routine that is killing me, the never ending problems, the burdens, the responsibilities, the envious people, the worries and troubles we fall into every second...
Welcome to "the" life..
Filled with this feeling of nothingness, emptiness, loneliness, and age maybe... Although I'm only 25, but I feel so old... I also dont recognise myself anymore... I'm meeting a new me...
I've only been into the real world for 3 years, but I feel like I've been there for my entire life... I believe I was a good kid, spoiled by my grandparents and overly protected and properly raised by my parents, but I turned into the responsible eldest... And although I'm tired of this role and this position, I am glad for everything I experienced the past years... Especially those past 3 years... I was turned from a naiive, child into a grown-up... Now I can speak in public, I can revolt, I can bargain, I can ask for my rights, I can say No, I can make choices and I can make my own decisions... I can lead a life and that of others with me... Only 3 years taught me what I couldnt learn in 22 years of my life... Just getting out of the school and college gates and entering into the real world ruined the little girl in me... Everyday I am caught with any little experience that urges me to grow up and let go of the little girl in me...
I've seen life so cheerfully... I loved everyone I met, believing that they will definitely love me back... I said everything I felt like saying, not keeping any secrets or thinking before talking... I trusted all and worried about nothing... To realise that all that I am doesnt fit into this world... And I started changing subconsciously and gradually...
However, I really miss the old days, when I wasnt that scared of people... When I had no worries and no problems... When I had no responsibilities and no pain... When I dreamed believing that my dreams will come true...
But those days are over... Welcome to the new me and the new life... The routine that is killing me, the never ending problems, the burdens, the responsibilities, the envious people, the worries and troubles we fall into every second...
Welcome to "the" life..
posted by Bambouzo @ 12:13 AM
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