Call Ended..

Got dressed and left for a car ride alone.. I really needed to be alone... Listening to "3 days grace"... "Pain.. without love.. Pain.. Cant get enough... Pain.. like it rough coz I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all....."


Driving so fast... as fast as the thoughts running in my head...
Cant find a solution... Cant let the tears out... Can do nothing but feel the way I feel..

Only an hour of fast driving coz I have to go home... My curfew is almost there... Unfortunately I have to go home...

Sleepless..
My head still filled with the same fast thoughts
Pain.. alot of it... In the heart.. I can feel it aching.. It is broken..
Sleepless... Sad... Depressed... Ashamed... Angry... Broken...

Even guilt has formed part of my feelings... Guilt coz I was the reason for all those negative emotions that are killing me.. I was the reason for all this mess I am in... And now, after all I've done to myself, I'm feeling helpless... confused... How should I act? How should I behave? How should I feel?? Should I feel the way I do or am I over reacting? Is it worth it? am I worth it?

Sleepless... tried so hard for 2 hours to fall asleep but there was no use...

A hot shower can make me sleep... Some praying...
I still cant sleep...